The End Of Magnus Bane
by whycantitbefollowthebutterflys
Summary: The love of his life has gone and Magnus is seriously doubting whether being immortal is what he really wants
1. Chapter 1: Camille

Magnus sat on his bed and stared out of the window. The lights of Brooklyn glowing in the distance. He held the picture of Alec in his hand. His smile as radiant as the sun. His runes standing out black on white. There was a knock on the door. Magnus quickly shoved the picture under the covers and stood, stretching as he walked to the wooden door of his apartment. When he opened the door he saw Camille stood there. The light drizzle from outside had made her long hair have a shiny sheen.

"come in Camille" Magnus huffed and stalked away from the door where he slumped into his leopard print chair. Camille shut the door and walked towards Magnus, a sympathetic look on her face.

"you knew the time would come when you had to let go. You have never acted like this before" she sat down opposite him and regarded him with a searching look. He had never looked so normal. His hair was flat and lifeless, no glitter to make it shine like little stars on a midnight blue sky, his cat eyes dull and desolate. He wore a pair of plain blue jeans and a white shirt that was buttoned all the way up. He lacked his usual look of life. It had been a week since it had happened and he felt like his whole world had come to an end.

Magnus stared at his hands which were loosely folded on his lap "he was different" was all he could say before he started to choke up with tears. Camille sighed impatiently but none the less she went to his side and gave him a short reassuring hug.

Magnus didn't want her reassurance. She had told him to let go before it was to late. But he hadn't expected the end to come so soon. He looked up at Camille, his eyes pooling with fresh tears. He had promised himself he would be strong like when he had lost the others but this was just to much.

"Magnus why are you acting like this, you act like he was the only one you ever loved, the only one you ever cared for….and we know that isn't true. You have cared for many who have passed away. There was even a time when you loved me"

"BUT ITS NOT THE SAME!" roared Magnus. He jumped out of his seat and turned to face Camille.

"I truly thought that he was the one that I would spend a good, long, healthy amount of time with but no, shadowhunters never last long"

"You new him for such a short time though and he was so young, he shouldn't have gone to the island, the arrogant little Nephlim"

"ALEXANDER WAS NOT AN ARROGANT LITTLE NEPHLIM!" Magnus bellowed. "They drew him there, told him that they had me and would kill me if he didn't come, he did it because he loved me. He didn't even think to check here, where I was the whole time. He went straight to that bloody island where he was trapped by the greater demons and slaughtered" Magnus dropped to his knees a fresh load of sobs rattling his body.

Camille walked to the fire place and stared at what she thought was a pathetic excuse of a man, crumpled on the floor, sniffling.

"if he hadn't of disobeyed orders by the clave and been so hot headed you wouldn't have had to go there to find him lying there in a crumpled pile of broken bones and blood. Without a single breath left in his body". Magnus lifted his head to find Camille standing there with a satisfied look on her face. She new she had touched a nerve. He had been the first one there at the abandoned shack where, on the door step Alec lay, his face peaceful in deaths embrace. Magnus had tried with all his strength to get Alec's heart to beat, for his lungs to taste precious air. But he couldn't do it, he cried out with anger as he held on to Alec's lifeless form. He crouched, his strength nearly completely gone, as Jace stood, still as a statue, his shirt becoming red with the blood his Parabatai rune bled. As Isabelle, her face a mask of despair, sunk to her knees, to weak to stand, tears staining her cheeks, to shocked to make a sound. And then he heard the words that truly signified the end of Alecs young life, said in Clary's strong, sweet voice "_Ave Atque Vale_"

Magnus had helped Jace carry Alec into the institute, had been there in the hallway where he could hear the muffled sobs of the lightwood family as they sat by his body waiting for brother Zachariah to take him to the city of bones. He felt helpless and out of place, even though he had been in a relationship with Alec and loved him with all his heart he felt as if he shouldn't mourn him the way that Alec's family did.

So now slumped on the carpeted floor of his apartment he felt like his world had ended.

"I don't think I can go through this ever again" said Magnus. He slowly got up from the floor and turned to face Camille, his hand braced on the chair next to him to keep his balance.

"your such a sentimental fool Magnus, you'll never learn" Camille said in melodic voice.

"I have loved to many, watched to many people die, where as I live a life of leisure. I don't need worry about death like the average mundane. This life is cursed".

"This is not a cursed life, many would die multiple times to have what we have, they would go to any lengths to be able to see the world like we do, to physically see the changes that the world progresses to". Camille walked towards Magnus and gave him a menacing look. " Do not say that you wish to die. To throw away a gift so precious as immortality" and with that Camille stalked out of Magnus's apartment, slamming the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2: Magnus

Magnus was left to his thoughts. He stood in his apartment, alone again, his eyes stinging from fresh tears, trembling from his visit from Camille. Once the room would have been filled with people, with the noise of youth and the air of excitement. Alec would have been there, sprawled on the couch, normally letting an iratze heal a wound from there latest demon raid. Jace would be there, his leather jacket thrown over the back of the glass dining room chair, his sarcastic humour lighting up the room. Clary would be sat next to him, all red hair and smiles, usually pencil to paper creating a new masterpiece. Simon would be sat at the other side of the room his iconic logo t-shirt hanging off his vampire frame. Smiling mildly as he talked to Isabelle, her dark hair hanging loosely over her shoulders, her whip wound around her wrist.

But now no one comes knocking on his door. Once upon a time Magnus would complain about the young shadowhunters coming to him for help. He would tell them a time will come when he would simply refuse to help. But he could never do that, they made him feel wanted. Maybe some would say that they used Magnus, took advantage of his gifts but Magnus didn't care. At least there was someone there that actually needed him. An now all he wanted was for Clary or Isabelle, Jace or Simon to come and hammer on the door, to refuse to leave till Magnus gave them the help they needed.

Ever since Alec had died no one came to see Magnus, they all stayed at home. Clary with Luke and Jocylen, Isabelle and Jace at the Institute, locked away in the confides of there rooms where Isabelle silently cried the time away and Jace just sat there, as still as a statue. Simon was the only one who tried to break that atmosphere but never succeeded.

The first night when Alec died Magnus had stayed at the institute. Where everyone sat in the library while Alec was taken to the City of bones, his final resting place. Alec's mother had gone with the silent Brother to say her final goodbyes in peace. The atmosphere in the library was tense. Jace stood by the fire place leaning against the mantle. You could see the loss in his eyes. He still wore the same shirt that was stained in the blood his parabatai rune had bled a few hours ago. He had looked at his rune to find it had become a scar, a constant reminder of the death of his Parabatai.

Isabelle sat on the soft armchair with her arms wrapped around her chest. She had now lost both of her brothers. Max and Alec. Both of them to young to die. Magnus could see the pain that she was in. She had only Jace left now and wanted to cling on to him with all she had. He was like a brother to her but she new he could never replace the two she had lost.

Clary stood next to the door, she was wearing shadowhunter black, her hair tied back loosely. She looked as awkward as Magnus felt. They both had only known Alec for a short period of time and felt out of place in the room full of Alec's closest and dearest. Even at the funeral Magnus and Clary had taken a back seat and watched from the distance as the lightwoods had all stepped up to say something about him. Had all hugged each other as they cried.

Magnus had left them to there mourning after the funeral and had stayed in his apartment ever since. He had ran out of things to do to keep his mind off Alecand now he just sat there, hands neatly folded on his lap, watching the seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours. He had just closed his eyes when there was a knock on his door.


	3. Chapter 3: Isabelle

Magnus opened his eyes and listened hard, maybe it was just his imagination that someone had knocked on the door, he listened closely and it came again. Magnus got up from his chair and walked to the door, as he opened it he tried to look like he hadn't just been sat around for days. He was surprised to find Isabelle stood there, a sheepish smile on her face.

"Can I come in" she asked

"Of course" Magnus said a little to quickly "take a seat". He opened the door further to let Isabelle past. She walked in and sat in the leopard print chair. She was wearing a close fitting, black t-shirt under a faded leather jacket, her blue jeans were tucked into a pair of heeled black boots. Her black hair was tied up at the back of her head and her red pendent hung around her neck Magnus closed the door and walked over to the chair opposite Isabelle.

"You look terrible" Isabelle said as she regarded Magnus's dishevelled appearance.

"you don't look to great yourself" Magnus replied.

"I'm sorry to intrude your probably way to busy to have time to talk to me. I just really need to talk to somebody, Jace wont even say a word"

"what did you want to talk about?" Magnus asked

"I don't know" Isabelle admitted "ever since Alec died nothing has been the same. Jace wont talk to me, neither will mum. Clary just try's to comfort me every time I see her, she acts differently around me. But I new you wouldn't because you have seen so many people die that it mustn't have such a devastating effect on you like does on us"

Magnus looked up at Isabelle to see her looking at him expectantly at him for an answer.

"That's not always true" Magnus answered in a defeated voice.

"what do you mean?" Isabelle inquired. She looked at him with searching eyes.

"you have seen many people die, probably more then any man on earth, why was Alec different. Many you have loved have died"

"Its nothing…you wont understand"

"don't treat me like a little child Magnus" Isabelle said sitting up straighter.

Magnus looked at her hard. She had a bullying look on her face. One thing he admired about her was that she was stubborn and went to any length to get her own way. And Magnus new he wasn't going to win.

"I have loved many that have died. I have had many friends that have died but also many enemies. You may think that seeing 90% of the people I no die is going to change the way I view death, will make me accept it and not think twice about it but that's not true." Magnus took a deep breath and continued "every death I have witnessed makes me weaker. Like it chips a piece of me away every time it happens. And Alec was the last stand. I have never loved anyone as much as Alec. You may think I am lying to you because you are his sister but its true. I loved with my whole life and that's a lot of life." Magnus felt his eyes start to fill with tears and had to stop. He turned his face to the window and breathed in deeply willing the tears away. Suddenly he felt a hand touch his shoulder and then Isabelle was suffocating him in tight embrace.

"Oh Magnus I never new you felt that way I'm sorry so so sorry"

"its ok Isabelle I shouldn't of hidden my true feelings. I have realised by doing so I have now condemned myself to an eternity of sadness and loneliness as I can never love again"

"but you will find love again Magnus"

"but what if I don't want to"

"Magnus you may not want to now but what about in 5 years or 10 even 20. You always do find love." Isabelle replied braking the embrace and looking Magnus in the eye.

"Alexander was my last love and that's final" Magnus stood up and walked to the window. He stood there for at what seemed like an eternity and when he finally turned around he saw that Isabelle had fallen asleep on the chair. She looked so peaceful curled up on the chair her chest slowly rising and falling. Magnus went to the cupboard and retrieved a green blanket which he put over the sleeping then went to the table and scribbled a note or Isabelle for when she woke which read

Isabelle

I have gone to see an old friend and will not be back for some time. Please leave the key to my apartment under the plant pot when you leave.

Magnus Bane

p.s please don't tell anyone about our talk last night

And with that he left his apartment. Making sure he closed the door quietly so as not to wake Isabelle.


	4. Chapter 4: tessa

Magnus walked along the street, the street lamps creating a pool of light that cast itself onto the gum covered pavement. Magnus could here the rush of the late night traffic on the busy highway far out in the distance. As he walked he kept his head down and kept up a quick pace. As magus neared the bridge. He saw the silhouette of a women stood looking out at the inky water of the river. He smiled slightly as he quickened his pace, the light breeze chilling his cheeks.

Tessa was leaning against the wall, her brown hair lay in lose curls on her shoulders. She was wearing a velvet green coat on top of an old fashioned blue dress that covered her booted feet. She smiled her elegant, white toothed smile as Magnus walked over to her and embraced her.

"Tessa Grey" Magnus said as they released each other, both smiling with deep affection.

"Magnus Bane. I was surprised that you called and asked to meet me why the sudden interest"

"I need your help" Magnus admitted as he turned to face the shimmering waters.

Tessa could here the sadness in his voice. She looked into his face and saw the sorrow in his eyes. They were still rimmed in red, with the faint glisten of a tear.

Magnus took in a deep breath "Tessa I don't know what to do. I feel like I have had a whole ripped in my heart. An whenever I think about him I am riddled with pain. I cant go on Tessa I have lost Alec and I don't want to lose another."

"Magnus I have never known you to be so sad about a death of a loved one. Alec must have been dear to you?"

"he was and still is. I don't know how to live without him. We shared the same feeling. Yes we had our arguments, our disagreements but I truly felt like I had found my soul mate. And I cant leave him. I need to go to him….wherever he may be now" Magnus turned to Tessa. Her face was sympathetic. She took hold of his hand. Her velvet gloves warming his cold hands.

"Magnus it will get better. When I lost will I was broken. I felt that my world had ended. But then I thought I have more to live for. I have my family, my meeting on the bridge. I realised that I would live past the age of the ones I love but why should that influence me. Yes I will be sad but I can fight it" she took a deep breath. "Magnus you should understand that more then anything"

The sun was now hidden and the moon shone high in the sky. Its slivery light creating ominous shadows along the bridge.

"I thought I wouldn't act like this. I thought it would be the same as the rest but its not." Magnus looked deep into Tessa's eyes. "and that is why I am here with you tonight. I am here to say my last goodbye"

"Magnus what do you mean" Tessa's voice was suddenly filled with panic. She gripped onto his arm tight.

"No Magnus you can't, you just simply can't!" Magnus eased Tessa's prying hands of his arm and held them out in front of her. He then produced a piece of cloth out of his pocket and placed it in her hands. She unfolded the piece of cloth and on it was embroidered an M.B in glittering blue thread. Tessa started to sob as she looked at Magnus's calm face.

"remember me Always" Magnus said, choking back tears. And with that he quickly walked off. Leaving Tessa stood at the top of the bridge crying out his name.


	5. Chapter 5: clary

Magnus didn't go back to his apartment. Isabelle would still be there and he couldn't stand to look at her as it brought back harsh memories.

He walked without seeing where for at the remainder of the night and into the morning light. He ended up next to the grave the lightwoods had constructed at the side of the institute so that they would always have a reminder of there oldest son. On the head stone it read.

_Alexander Gideon Lightwood_

_Hail and farewell Brother_

That was all that it said and all it needed to say. Magnus sat down by the headstone and closed his eyes, the sun warming up his tear stained skin. He could remember the look on Alecs face when ever they saw each other. The blue sparkle that winked in his eyes every time he smiled. The way he wielded his bow and arrow. And his courage about being gay in a very judgemental society.

Suddenly a shadow crossed over his face and he opened his eyes to see Clary stood there. In jeans and a checked shirt.

"Do you mind if I sit with you" she asked squinting against the early morning suns harsh rays.

"Go for it" Magnus replied. "The more the merrier I suppose" Clary slumped down next to Magnus and looked at him. She had not been a shadowhunter for long but she new exactly what to say and how to act.

"I suppose you are here for the same reason I am" Magnus asked turning his head to face Clary.

"the institute is to quite, everyone is keeping themselves to themselves and I need a distraction" Clary answered.

"I've been thinking" Magnus said after a long pause

"you better be careful there Magnus" Clary said trying to lighten the mood.

"This is serious Clary" Magnus replied "I've been thinking, about the night Alec died" he paused "I am sick of being made to see the ones I love die"

"No one likes it Magnus but it cant be stopped. Its life, we are born and then we die, you are lucky you have a long time yet" Magnus thought about this for a long time. When he finally answered he said.

"But am I lucky, you mortal, you see those you love die but most times it is to late for you to fall in love again. Whereas me, I fall in love, see them grow old and then see them die, I mourn then fall in love again and the cycle continues. But I'm sick of it, for 800 years I have watched people die and Alec was the last straw" Magnus felt the tears sting his eyes and stared at the daisy on the floor to try to clear them. He could here Clary breathing deeply next to him, as if she was thinking about what Magnus had just said.

"Are you saying what I think your saying" Clary asked suddenly sitting more alertly trying to seek out the information from Magnus's face.

"And what is that little Shadowhunter" Magnus asked trying to lighten the atmosphere that had loomed over the pair.

"you…..you want t….to die don't you" Magnus heard the words catch in her throat and he turned to look at her. Her eyes were swimming with salty tears. Magnus drew her into a hug. She hugged him tight and he felt her tears wet his shirt.

"Magnus you can't…..you simply can't" she sobbed. Magnus ended the embrace and held her shoulders tight. Her cheeks were flushed and tear stained. Magnus raised a hand and wiped away the tear that was rolling down her cheek. He felt like Her father, wiping away the tears of a broken heart.

"yes that is what I wish to do. I cant take the heart ache anymore. I want Alec to be my last love"

"but Magnus you can't"

"I can and I will Clary, I have made up my mind, and you cant tell anyone, not even Jace. This is my choice. I want to be with Alexander, he made me appreciate what I have got and with out him my life can not go on"

There was along pause

"When" was all she said.

"soon, very soon" was Magnus's reply and with that he stood, gave Cary a squeeze on the shoulder and walked away, the blinding sun obscuring him from view. Clary watched him walk away. She couldn't see him die. She just couldn't.


	6. Chapter 6: Jace

Magnus hurried to the institute. He had to do it know before Clary could tell Jace. He ran up the stone steps ferociously rang the door bell. Jace flung open the door. He was in a white shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Magnus?"

"Please Jace, can I borrow one of you spare rooms in the institute it's a matter of urgency" Magnus pleaded. Jace could here the panic in his voice

"yeh sure" Magnus hurried into the elevator. Tapping his foot nervously on the ground as Jace pushed the button and the elevator shot up.

When the elevator opened Magnus followed Jace to a spare room that was at the end of a long hallway.

"here you go" Jace said as he opened the door

"one more thing" Magnus said "please don't let anyone in…..please" Jace looked at Magnus and saw the pleading look in his eyes.

"sure" Jace said and stood by the wall on the opposite side.

Magnus walked into the bright room shutting the door behind him, sliding the bolt home. It was of a medium size with a double bed along the back wall and an oak chest of draws next to it. There were no personal items in the room which gave it a forgotten feel. Magnus walked to the window at the side of the room and stared out at the blue sky. He then walked over to the bed and lay don in the middle. He reached a hand into his pocket and produced a vile. The vile had a blood red liquid in it. Magnus sat up and took the lid off the top of the vile. He new that once he drank the contents he would have but two minutes and that there was no going back. It was one of the strongest poisons that he could get his hands on. Suddenly he put his hand into his pocket and produced a piece of paper that he put into his hand that was holding the vile.

He looked at the red liquid. Tears ran down his face as he raised the vile to his lips.

"I will be with you soon" he said in a whisper as he emptied the contents of the vile into his mouth and swallowed with a loud gulp. All Magnus could think was whether he was doing the right thing but it was to late for regrets now.

He felt the effects of the poison in less then 30 seconds. Everything started to go dizzy as he fell back onto the bed, his head being cushioned by a soft pillow, the vile and paper still clutched in his hand.

His eyes closed and all he could see was an oppressive darkness. He felt like he was floating. But there was also a sense of a growing fire that started in his heart and spread. As it spread the darkness seemed to get heavier and heavier as if it was about to flatten him. His senses were starting to weaken but he could faintly hear raised voices outside and the sweet song of the morning birds as they called out to the heavens.

And that's the last thing he heard.

Clary saw Jace leaning against the wall. And walked up to him smiling. She was accompanied by Isabelle who had just returned home but didn't say where she had been.

"Jace what are you doing?" Isabelle asked as they reached him.

"I'm under strict orders to keep everyone out of that room" Jace said as he pointed at the wooden door.

"Who's in there?" Clary asked

"Magnus…By the angel he's been in there for a long time"

Clary suddenly went white.

"Clary….Clary what is it ? what's the matter?" Jace said as he put his arm around Clary's waist

"JACE YOU HAVE TO GET IN THERE NOW !" Clary screamed. Jace immediately ran to the door and kicked it down. What they saw next was a shock to them all.

There on the bed lay Magnus, one hand lying across his unmoving chest. The other laying next to him. His face was calm his eyes closed. Jace ran over to him and shuck him but he didn't wake.

Clary sunk to her knees.

"If only I had got here earlier I would have been able to stop him…all he wanted to do was to be with Alec"

Isabelle knelt down next to Clary and they both silently cried together. Jace went to Magnus's body and saw the vile in his hand. He went to take it from Magnus and saw the piece of paper. They all gathered round and read the front of the letter. In blue ink it read:

The End Of Magnus Bane.


	7. Chapter 7: letter

My Dearest Friends

By the time that you read this you would of found my body. I didn't tell any of you about this as I new that you would try and stop me.

I don't know whether you understand why I have done what I have done so I have written this letter to explain it to you.

When I met all of you at my party I felt like a fool. I saw all you looking dashing in black. But it was Alec that really made an impression on me. I immediately regretted wearing just my underwear. I looked into his eyes and they sparkled like the stars.

From then on we kept secretly in touch. Texting and meeting up. But when together we kept part. I didn't want people to find out about Alec being gay because of my mistake.

And then in Idris where he openly kissed me I felt like my world was complete. I cant live without him.

Yes we have had arguments but we were happy together.

And that is why I need to be with him. I cant live with out him. He is my all.

It is true that love can make you stronger but it can also destroy.

I shall always be watching over you with Alec and Max

Farewell

Magnus Bane


End file.
